February 2012
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Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Yes.
Doctor: Is there any chance you could be pregnant?
Me: No.
Doctor: Are you taking birth control pills?
Me: No.
Doctor: Do you use condoms?
Me: Nope.
Doctor (beginning to look concerned): Is there a medical reason you can't become pregnant?
Me: Not that I'm aware of.
Doctor (looking even more concerned, now speaking in a condescending tone): Then how do you know there's no chance of pregnancy?
Me: Last I checked, my female partner would have a hard time pulling that off.
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Late Valentine's Day
So, my boyfriend and I have this mutual friend, Andrew. His birthday is on Valentine’s day, so my boyfriend and I decided to have Valentine’s day some other day - that way, we could spend the day with Andrew and celebrate his birthday.
Yesterday, we celebrated Valentine’s day. He took me to the zoo. The Woodland Park Zoo.
Now, for most anyone else, the zoo is just all right....
