everything1s:

Big Brother is Bashful

everything1s:

Big Brother is Bashful

(via thefrogman)

colorslashmotion:

Places to Have Sex #6: Backroom of a FedEx Office

a) Make sure the doors lock. They don’t.

b) Make cute boy with fantastic delivery boy ass sit on your dick anyway.

c) When cuter delivery boy 2 comes in because doors do not lock explain the situation while boy 1 is sitting on your dick and shifting around.

d) Have spontaneous threesome.

(via tonyinthesky)

colorslashmotion:

that moment when you’re talking to a boy and he says ‘uh are you trying to hint at something’ and you realize you’ve been absentmindedly holding his hard dick for the past fifteen minutes

true life stories 

(via tonyinthesky)

justinnnnnnnnnnnnnn:

When someone thinks you’re a hassidic hillbilly with a snoot full of honeybees

image

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

sexadvicegoddess:

sarcasticlittlefuckk:

standard

I am crying I love this too much

(Source: brokenimagephotos, via honeyisforbeesandbears)

dynastylnoire:

every single morning

dynastylnoire:

every single morning

(Source: clairey92, via honeyisforbeesandbears)

"Isn’t it boring being on an all vegetable diet?"

veganprobs:

image

you tell me

(via honeyisforbeesandbears)

silentbutgolden:

Nah b.

silentbutgolden:

Nah b.

(Source: reblog-gif)

sergeantjerkbarnes:

if i’m ever rich i’m gonna always leave huge tips, like 200%. that’s like the dream. having enough money to give some waitress 40 bucks extra just because she’s nice.

(via urbansamurai007)

shakespearelove:

i-m-a-good-viper:

Lesbians:

image

Men:

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Aaaaaaaand I can’t breathe.

(via honeyisforbeesandbears)

yallaintgotfiestas:

imnotfine-atall:

mattharv666:

skankmcmeow:

I see your shifting gaze, that disgusted glance. I know you’re questioning my parenting from across the elementary school assembly.

Let me tell you a little story about the kindergarten student with bright purple hair, my little Raven Marie…

A month before school started she decided to play hair stylist with the craft scissors, and to save what was left I had to opt for a pixie cut. She was absolutely devastated. It was about three hours before she stopped her harsh sobbing and hiccups.

Why?

She has thought that the length of a girls hair was what made her “girly”. I know I’ve personally had many hairstyles around her before, including a purple mohawk, which many people criticized as not being “girly” enough. Media, other children, other parents, and society made it worse. She would randomly burst in tears while out in public for the first week of her new style, screaming that she looked like a boy. That everyone would think she’s a boy.

At one point she took off her bow in her hair, threw it at a cashier and screamed, “I DON’T NEED THIS BOW TO TELL YOU THAT I’M NOT A BOY, BECAUSE I’M NOT”

Proudly stomping away in her blue jean overalls, head held high.

Once we edged closer to the first day of school she kept asking questions like, “Do you think the other kids will like me? Do you think they’ll be my friend? Will they think I’m a boy? Will they pick on me because I have boy hair?”

So I went to the grocery store, bought some dye, and spent the whole night transforming my bright blonde little girl into a plum punk rock fairy. I then assured her that if any of the kids didn’t like her, they were just jealous.

As for you, mothers and teachers with the wandering eyes filled with disgust and judgement, I’m in the business of raising a free spirit.

Here’s to you, Raven Marie. I love you.

Look at how fucking adorable that kid is holy fucking shit

Oh my god. That’s the sweetest thing. You go girl!

future kids.

(via urbansamurai007)

sassy-gay-justice:

"You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel"

God DAMN thats some Shakespearean shit right there

(Source: iraffiruse, via awellfittedname)